when one door closes another opens

well as i said before i have lost some friends one of tham is matt. he has been madly in love with me years but i have never felt the same way for him. well today i made a new friend at work named nicholas. who just happens to be matts older brothers best friend. kinda funny eh. well nicholas is gay and i think may turn out to be a good friend. i have had a hard time without having matt in my life anymore but i think the lord put nicholas in my life at the prefect time. im so grateful for this door that has been oppened now i can know how matt is he he arent i smart.

it has been forever

so it has been forever i apologize. i have been working two jobs at seagull and convergys and i love what i do at both places i have made many friends and it has been good for me to not be stuck in the house so much. altghough i am so busy with life and such. i am srill seeing dallas and to answer your question right off no there isnt a ring someday there will be but for the time being there is not which i am okay with. though my mom is not so much. i have been going through my first crisis as people would call it i have lost some very dear close friends of mine. and although in the long run it will be good for me i struggle to know why things happen. this christmas was a bit wierd for me because it did not feel like christmas it felt like a normal day for the most part. good news there was not as much drama as there was last year but im sad to say yes there was steal drama. my mother turned the big fifty this year and we went to the roof for dinner which was awesomely good but expensive. i made her an awesome book with out favorite memories and pictures. i bought myself and internet phone which i love and yes thats the way im communictaing with you now. well i love you all amd hope you all are doing well

been a while

so i started my new job about a week and a half ago. and i have to say i love the people i work with. ill admit some of their personalties rub me wrong but i love it!!! ive been really exhausted however from working so much and not being used to it.
i love that it smowed yesterday!!! mom was in new york so she missed it. too bad for her.
dallas and i are doing good but no ring yet maybe for christmas????

ode to the oak tree

you my friend have been a long time friend...
giving us shade...
giving us acorns to make little crafts out of...
letting the grape vine grow on you...
you my friend have given us leaves to play in...
a place for the cats to play on...
a place for us to watch the birds place...
but when the wind blew you over we knew this was it...
our long time friend will have to regrow yourself..
we'll see you again dont worry...
we love you our friend...

WOW

si=o with all my struggles the past little while and with all my prayers things are finally looking up!! i got a job today with convergys which means i can go back to school get a car have insurance im so thrilled... dallas and i are doing well.
i'e been having some issuse with my freind breanne she is not normon and i have been trying so hard but i feel the harder i try the farther she strays off the path... thats where im at not.. but hey i can deal with that

deep thought

so a Friend got married today in the temple and i went to help with his nieces and i was watching all the people come in and all the brides and i almost cried because i know that's what i want more than anything in the world. i wish Dallas would get off his high horse and propose already but then again i want to be 21 when i get married. but i know that the LDS church is more true than anything.

bad timing

so this week has been a blast last week i went up to the mountians for dinner down the provo river on a canoe then lagoon and raging waters twice. but admist all this fun i have been thinking about one incident that happened while on one of my fun trips. some one has been sexually harassing me and it got really bad. everything is being taken care of but it still sits in the back of my mind what if i didsomething differently? what if i just never became friends with the person many mnay years ago? but i guess i'll never know it's been my challenge foe this week and i think i have finally come to stop feeling sorry for myself. and have realized that the lord puts trials in our way so we can become better people and live with him someday.